Monday's Child

I found these poems tonight in the book "There's an awful lot of weirdos in our neighborhood" by Colin McNaughton. It is a book from Sam's childhood. They cracked me up!

Monday's Child is Red and Spotty
Monday's child is red and spotty.
Tuesday's child won't use the potty.
Wednesday's child won't go to bed.
Thursday's child will not be fed.
Friday's child breaks all his toys.
Saturday's child makes an awful noise.
And the child that's born on the seventh day
Is a pain in the neck like the rest, OK?

Short Sharp Shock
If your children are ever unruly,
(Of course this might never happen),
Just tell them to kindly behave themselves,
Then reach over quickly and slap 'em.

A Fat Lot of Good
Our vicar is kind.
But eats more than he should.
I suppose we could call him,
"A fat lot of good."